Oh, hi there.
Yes, I’m still here. I haven’t forgotten about all 3 of you who read my blog (maybe that’s even being generous…).
Honestly I’m not quite sure how each day seems to just fly by as quickly as it does. I’m in a constant state of needing to catch up.
Catch up with laundry, friends, family, my training, work, cleaning, etc… the list could go on for days but you pick up what I’m putting down.
So here I sit, a month after my last blog post and wondering “what do I write about?”
I could catch you all up on how my training has been going, the half marathon that I had the pleasure of pacing a few weeks back, what the kids have been up to, or how our vacation to Florida was.
I’m sure I’ll touch on all of those things, but it’s been honestly a rough week all the way around, showing me that life sometimes isn’t about always needing to catch up, but rather trying to live in the moment.
It’s been non-stop crazy since last Saturday with Julia not feeling well on and off, an overnight work trip for me (which I had to come back early for due to said illness) and she was finally diagnosed with strep throat last night. And cue the mom guilt about not even thinking that was a possibility since she had NO typical signs. I just kept thinking she would snap out of it or that she was faking it to get out of school. Well, she wasn’t but thankfully she’s on the mend now and hopefully no one else gets sick.
Two of my closest friends lost parents this week, both succumbed to cancer. Getting those messages within 24 hours of each other was so heartbreaking and all I wanted to do was figure out how to help them. They’re both in Colorado so I felt helpless. And I don’t like that feeling.
It certainly jars you back to reality pretty quickly that life really does go so quickly and we all need to stop and take a breath once in a while even during what seems like unforgiving circumstances, stress and feeling totally deflated and overwhelmed.
But with that said, I also know I can’t dwell on things that are out of my control. I can only do so much and have to roll with the punches that are thrown my way. I’m finding that trying to keep some semblance of order with my training is surprisingly helpful for me. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that it forces me to be so disciplined about every day that I have honed in on my time efficiency and I somehow have a sense of calm about it.
That makes no sense, I realize.
But for some reason, it works for me. Knowing that Matt is really pushing me in my training sessions gives me a sense of pride and determination that I haven’t felt before. This year feels different to me. I’m not sure what the trigger is, but I now face every one of my workouts with the thought of “I got this” instead of “Holy crap, how am I going to get through this?” like I was a lot of last year.
He’s been throwing workouts like 2 1/2 hour bikes, 100 minute runs, intervals, sprints, hill simulations at me, along with the swim workouts I make up myself, and so far I’ve felt like a machine getting them done. Sure, some are better than others but the majority have absolutely exceeded the expectations I had of myself.
Maybe I’m stronger both mentally and physically than I have been? Maybe I’m more focused? Maybe I know not to worry about what’s next or what’s coming in the weeks ahead.
I don’t know, but I’m trying really hard and it seems to be working for me. This weekend I’m facing a 3 hour bike and almost 2 hour run, and I have a strange sense of calm about it. I know it won’t be easy, and I will have to fit them in around a lot of activities and stuff going on this weekend, but I know I’ll get it done.
Ironman Mont Tremblant is 4 months from today. August 20th seems like forEVER from now, but when I break it down, it is really coming quickly. 16 weeks. Less than 100 training sessions to go.
But I don’t want my mind to wander too far ahead of me so I am constantly feeling like I’m trying to catch my body up to my brain. That won’t work.
So onward I go to what’s next, and right now that’s to finish my work day, get Emily to swim lessons, eat dinner and go to bed.
Maybe I’m learning that life doesn’t have to be a constant state of catch up and that’s ok. So if you’d like to hear about our vacation or anything else from the past month, let me know and I can do more posts about them. If not, I’ll just keep moving forward and share the next 16 weeks with you all as much as I can!