Bidding 2018 adieu

Another loooooonnnnggggg hiatus between blog posts. Seems to be my thing. I wish it wasn’t my thing. I wish I could dedicate more time to this, as I really do find it helpful for me. But somehow it always falls to the bottom of the list of priorities.

And also, does anyone actually READ blog posts anymore? I’m not so sure they do. But alas, here I am and if you’re still reading this, I thank you.

It’s always an interesting time of year in December. We all look back and reflect on the past 12 months and then set lofty goals for the new year. I try really hard not to fall into the January 1st trap of unrealistic expectations for myself. I already know that I will disappoint myself by about January 10th if I try to do that. So I strive to just keep myself going all 12 months and roll into the next one without much of a break.

However.

This year was a little different for me and I’ve found since Ironman at the end of September, I have been a little  a LOT unmotivated and in a major funk. As with all parents, once the school year kicks into gear, life is just one chaotic mass of craziness. Between work, kid activities and daily madness, some days the last thing I want to do is swim, bike or run.

And want to know a secret?

I haven’t stepped foot into a pool since Ironman. Not a lick of swimming. Not one lap, not one meter, nada. Wanna know what else?

I don’t even care.

Terrible, right? Eh…not really. I’m actually ok with it. I figure my next triathlon is 7.5 months away. That’s an eternity. I may get back in the pool sometime in the spring.

Maybe.

Here’s the truth: with all the health issues I had earlier this year, and having to accept my “new normal” of taking things slower, not being able to do as much as I had in the past 6 years and trying to take care of my mental and physical health, I’m just tired.

It’s very unlike me to feel this way, too. I’m not sure what it will take to push me to the other side of this. Maybe after the holidays, maybe after a break from work, maybe months from now. I’m not really sure. And I don’t like it.

I’ve already decided 2019 will be the year of shorter races, with a couple of Olympic distances, one or two 70.3s and a half marathon or two thrown in for good measure.

After 4 years of non-stop Ironman-distance training, I’m toast.

And that’s ok.

Right?

I suppose so, but I’m having a hard time convincing myself of that. Deep down I feel like I want just one more Ironman, but do I really? I don’t know. Maybe after a few years I’ll consider it again but right now I need to back it down.

Maybe taking a bit of a break will let my body “heal” and maybe my blood pressure will stabilize itself without taking medication. I’ll have to test out that theory after the holiday craziness calms down.

(Side bar: has anyone out there been on BP meds and gone off them successfully without any other intervention?) 

I need to flip this script, to get back to looking at my workouts as a break; as the time I have for myself; as something I look forward to instead of dread. Not sure how I got so far the other way in such a short amount of time. I have no explanation. But my goal is  enjoy the holidays in Florida, get some outside rides and runs in (without freezing my ass off) and hit the refresh button (is that even a thing?)

I am thankful for my Coeur teammates to help keep me focused and watching their successes makes me strive to do better every day! Thank you, teammies!

So that’s the story from here. If you’re still reading this, again, I thank you.

And my apologies for the lack of photos in this post so I’ll leave you with a cute picture of my girls:

Happy Holidays to you and your families!! See you in 2019!